A Letter to my Black Friends

To My Black friends,

At first, I heard you talk about injustice and because I had not seen it or felt that I did not inflict it upon you, I refused to listen to your voice. But now you are talking so loud that I can ignore you no longer. I have begun to listen. 

Let me start by saying I am sorry for my apathy, for not pausing long enough to listen. I think I hear you say that you are a displaced people. You feel second class. You are so much more than what is being shown to me by the media. You have been doing great things for the longest time in obscurity and most times the credit goes to a white person. Your identities were stripped from you as you were enslaved. You were forced to bear the last names of men who hated you. Even though you were “given” freedom you have not been accepted for who you are.

My heart grieves as I finally hear. I hear the hurt and the pain. I don’t want you to feel this way.

I want to do something. What can I do? 

I do not wish to be your bullhorn because then it is my voice that is heard and I don’t want that. I don’t wish to be a white savior. I realize this is a fight that has to come from you. I BELIEVE in YOU my black friend. I believe you are strong enough. I believe you are smart enough. I believe you ARE enough.

I think one of the best things I can do is to get out of your way and Let.You.Do.It. Find your place. Change our world! Change MY world.

You can tell me of the wonderful things that you are doing. Tell me how influential to American culture you are. Tell me what it is you want to tell me.

If you see me silent it is because I’ve chosen to stop talking so you can be heard. 

 #iamlistening

Seeking first His kingdom

We met with our home buying counselor last night. We have been going through a program for the last 6 months. I wasn't looking forward to telling her we had been told by God to give a portion of our savings away just recently. Even though God miraculously gave that money ALL right back to us, the program asks that you have no withdrawals so we were looking at having to reestablish a savings pattern for another 6 months. Enter yet another miracle. Our counselor was not phased what so ever by our crazy story. Not only did she understand, she in fact encouraged us to keep being obedient God. Over and over again she expressed how blessed she was to hear our story. I am always floored and humbled at the way He has used us to inspire, encourage and bless people we consider strangers by JUST being us, the Jackson family.

At this point we have a few more things on our checklist but could potentially start looking for a our very own Jackson home in a few weeks!!!! He's taken what we expected to be 6 months or more and condensed it to a very near reality! The timing may seem off since we will need to be out of our current residence in a few weeks. But we KNOW God has prefect timing so we are going to continue to believe in God's provision.

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' Or 'What shall we drink?' Or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:31-33

When I look at my precious children, when I'm able to bless my neighbor, serve a family member or encourage a total stranger I know that's what He wants from me. PEOPLE are his kingdom. Antoine and I have been stepping out in faith on this promise and he has been sweetly whispering to our hearts the encouragement we need to keep believing, to keep trusting Him. He's showing up. He knows what we need before we even say a word. We take care of those He is asking us to take care of, He is taking care of us. It's amazing and supernatural. It's bigger than "us". May he ALWAYS get the glory for our family. May we continue to hear and be obedient.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not LIFE more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" Matthew 6:25

Wholly Surendered

It's not easy to write about something you are still walking through but I feel like God just keeps bringing the words back to my head over and over and asking me to share so I will be obedient.

The Jackson's have been in a crazy season for a little while now.  At the beginning of the year I could feel the whisper of excitement in my heart that God had quite a year planned out for us and some seasons that would bring change to our family.

We've been saving for a little while in hopes to buy a home later this year. A little over a week ago we received notice that the home we are currently in is being sold and we have a little over a month to move.  The day BEFORE we got the notice God challenged us to give away a portion of our savings. We knew that act of giving out of obedience was setting some wheels into motion so in a way the notice was no surprise. It's time. This home has been our mannah. It has sustained us as God's provision. Even though it hasn't been lavish, we feel so blessed and believe God has asked us to take care of the less fortunate as He is taking care of us. Pretty crazy, scary and neat.

God always uses my labors as a foreshadow and preparation for the season to come. (I LOVE it!) Rhett's birth is no exception. I knew going into it 1.I desired and needed His presence more than anything. And 2. I wanted to breathe my baby down.  Both of which require surrender. With each wave of a contraction that would pass over I would feel the "urge to push". Usually I go with that urge to push to get that baby out fast. But really it's hard on both our bodies that way.  Instead I have learned to breathe through that urge to push, letting my body do the work it needs to do and gently bring the baby earth side. For these moments I'm walking a fine line so that I don't take over.  Focus, calm  and  surrender are needed EACH moment. I don't know how long the labor will last but I know He is giving me the strength to relax into each contraction.

In this season of life He is reminding me to breathe this new life out. Surrender to this God designed process. All the fear and anxiety and sheer panic threatening my mind and making me want to push, to insert myself, my solutions and my way,  I am to breathe those away with complete surrender to Him. i don't know how long this labor will be or the suffering yet to come but His presence is so strongly felt, He is all we need. Wave after wave crashing over us and yet we can surrender all.  Sweetly broken, wholly surrendered.  This was my birth anthem and is now my season anthem.

God is so faithful. He has grown our family and grown our finances and provided for us as we have trusted our family to His will for us. We don't know the outcome but we know God. We know he asked us to keep giving and loving the least of these. It's the only real direction we have right now. So  we give ourselves away so that He may use us and He alone may have the glory. We will wait patiently on Him in anticipation for the new season coming up for us, to the new LIFE that awaits us. I am so thankful we are not alone here on Earth. The creator God is our Jehovah Jireh. Praise him with us, even through the storm.

"Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord" psalm 27:14

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing

For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I'm sweetly broken, wholly surrendered